


help me turn a blind eye

by Enterprising



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enterprising/pseuds/Enterprising
Summary: Anonymously prompted on tumblr: An AU in which Ryan shoots Philip before Lukas can get to him, and Lukas takes care of Philip after.





	

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this was prompted by a lovely kind anon who liked my gabe n philip fic, the prompt is as follows:
> 
> 'Hi! I read your fanfic "something of an end" on AO3 and I really liked it! So I was thinking... I don't know if you accept requests but if you do, what do you think about a fanfic about the day at the cabin?Lukas paralized and the shooter shot at Philip,hitting him on the shoulder or something and then Lukas hits Ryan. And then you could show us what would it be if this was what had happened. I don't know,you don't have to, it was just an ideia that I had while reading your fanfic!'
> 
> thank u so much for enjoying my fic and for prompting this one, i really loved your idea and i hope i did it justice and you get to read it!
> 
> (title taken from fake it by bastille)

A body thuds to the floor right beside the bed, and even Lukas hears Philip's sharp inhale.  
  
The shooter turns. Takes a step forward.  
  
All the breath leaves Lukas' lungs when the shooter aims his gun under the bed, and Lukas sees Philip's white face illuminated for a second.  
  
The gunshot simultaneously throws everything out of focus and narrows it to a single point - Lukas can't think, can barely breathe as he edges up behind the shooter, hoping, God, _praying_ that Philip is alive, is okay and that terrible, punctured noise he made wasn't the last Lukas will ever hear of him.  
  
He grabs for the pan on the counter without really thinking about it. The thud of impact when it hits the shooter's head is sickening, and Lukas almost thinks it's over until the man suddenly moves, reaching, reaching for _Philip_ , and Lukas swings the pan wildly again and the shooter drops to the floor.  
  
Lukas drops to his knees beside the bed, numb and unable to think of anything but Philip, _Philip_ -  
  
"Philip!" His voice is desperate. Lukas fumbles violently for his phone until he can turn the flashlight on, and it reveals Philip, blinking in the harsh glare, and now Lukas can hear the way Philip's breathing is fast and ragged. The wave of relief that breaks over him is so strong Lukas thinks he could cry, breathing in heavy exhales and grasping for Philip's hand. "We need to go, we need - "  
  
"My arm," Philip whispers in disbelief, so quiet Lukas can hardly hear him, and Lukas jerks back from where he'd been about to pull at Philip's shoulder, the relief he'd felt at hearing Philip's voice crashing as he looks down and sees _blood_ , shining black in the thin light.  
  
"Can you move, can you - we gotta go, _right now_ ," Lukas says desperately. He shifts back on his heels as Philip obediently starts wriggling out from under the bed. When they're standing, Lukas shines the light over Philip, hands shaking uncontrollably.  
  
There's a hole in the jacket Philip loves so much.  
  
Philip sways slightly and Lukas rushes to catch his elbow, steadying him. "Philip, c'mon," he pleads, "We gotta go, let's go - "  
  
"Get the bike," Philip mumbles.  
  
"Can you ride?" Lukas asks, and Philip just nods, breathing in and out slowly.  
  
They reach the lake before Lukas can't take it and stops, letting his bike fall carelessly to the ground as he clutches at Philip, clinging to Philip's back because he's the only thing that can ground Lukas right now.  
  
"Listen to me - we can't say anything, to anyone," he says into Philip's hair, and Philip pulls back, cradling his arm, blood on his hand.  
  
"Are you kidding me - he was gonna kill us, who would blame you for killing him?"  
  
_Killing him_ , Lukas thinks faintly, and then thinks of Philip, immobile under the bed, and pushes the thought away.  
  
But God, if they hadn't been in the cabin, if they hadn't been -  
  
"You don't get it!" Lukas blurts out, and Philip steps back uncertainly. "I'm not _gay_ , like you! No one even knows we talk, got it?" There's a noise like a sob, and it's a moment before Lukas realises it came from him.  
  
Philip swallows. "We gotta tell Helen," he starts.  
  
"Tell her what?" Lukas asks incredulously. "That we were in the cabin, naked? No," he asserts, "never gonna happen."  
  
"Okay, well," Philip says quietly, eyes on the ground, "I won't say anything."  
  
They stand in silence for a moment. Lukas feels Philip's gaze return to him.  
  
"He was gonna kill me, if you hadn't stopped him," Philip says unsteadily. "If you hadn't - " He inhales sharply as Lukas hugs him fiercely, careful not to jostle Philip's arm. Lukas feels Philip clutch him back, and they breathe together. He doesn't know how long they stand there, but Philip makes a soft noise suddenly and Lukas pulls back, worried.  
  
"My arm, I need a bandage or something," Philip says, carefully detaching himself from Lukas.  
  
Lukas should offer to take Philip home. He should go home himself, pretend none of this ever happened, not the shooting, not the murders, not the _kissing_ -  
  
"My dad isn't home," is what Lukas says instead, checking the time. "I can bandage your arm."  
  
"Alright." Philip sounds uncertain too, but he climbs back on the bike and holds on tight to Lukas with one arm the whole short distance to Lukas' house.  
  
Lukas knows full well his dad won't be home for hours, but the knowledge isn't enough to quell the anxiety as he unlocks the door, the terror his dad will come back and see Lukas brought some strange _guy_ home. Philip clearly isn't part of Lukas' regular crowd, and Lukas is sure his dad would know immediately upon looking at them together.  
  
"You think there's a lot of blood loss?" Philip asks quietly, and it's the only warning Lukas gets before Philip sways dangerously again, leaning heavily on Lukas for support as they make it through the front door. Philip clings to Lukas all the way up the stairs, uninjured arm pressed tight to Lukas' side, and Lukas tries not to react.  
  
There's an odd self-consciousness as Lukas lets Philip into his bedroom, as Philip looks around curiously at Lukas' space. Lukas swallows and barely manages to say, "I'll get the first aid kit," before he stumbles from the room.  
  
In the kitchen, Lukas leans heavily on the counter, breathing hard. Everything was so messed up and they couldn't even tell anyone, ever - God, he'd _killed_ someone. But he couldn't break down right now; not when Philip was waiting for Lukas to bandage his arm, not when Lukas wasn't alone. There'd be time, he promised himself, and pushed his thoughts down into the darkest part of himself.  
  
Lukas grabs the first aid kit and wets a washcloth under the tap, wringing it out before returning to Philip as quickly as he can. Lukas can admit he doesn't want to be alone, right now, even if he's terrified because Philip knows everything and could ruin Lukas' life.  
  
He shuts his bedroom door quietly behind him, clutching the first aid kit, and tries to ignore the weird feeling that comes from seeing Philip on his bed.  
  
"Take your jacket off," he says instead, and then blushes furiously. Philip doesn't react, just shrugs his jacket off one shoulder and carefully pulls the other sleeve down, hissing as it comes into contact with his injury.  
  
Lukas sits on the bed beside Philip hesitantly at first, but upon seeing Philip's arm he moves closer without thinking. "Oh, God," Lukas says weakly. "It just, it just missed you - God, Philip."  
  
Philip's got his eyes squeezed shut, face turned away. "You don't like blood?" Lukas asks, but Philip shakes his head.  
  
"It was just so close," Philip murmurs, and Lukas shivers. He grabs the washcloth and wrings it out once more over the side of his bed.  
  
"Here, we need to clean it." At Philip's raised eyebrows, Lukas says, "What, you think I've never fallen off my bike before?"  
  
"I'm surprised you don't fall off more often," Philip retorts, head lolling to the side on the headboard.  
  
"Shut up," Lukas says playfully, but there's a frisson of fear when Philip laughs, too loud. "My dad was more of a, 'It's okay, champ, that'll scab over,' guy, rather than, you know, actually patching me up," Lukas continues conversationally. "So I learned how, I guess."  
  
Philip inhales sharply when Lukas first touches the washcloth to his skin, wiping away the excess blood surrounding the scrape - just a scrape, Lukas reassures himself, wincing as more blood spills - and then putting pressure on it, making Philip hiss and grip Lukas' arm painfully.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lukas says quietly. He's hyperaware of how abnormal and _wrong_ this situation is - Philip's been _shot_ , for God's sake - but he keeps talking like everything is okay, rubbing the washcloth over the wound until the material stops coming away red.  
  
"What next, doctor?" Philip asks weakly, and Lukas manages a laugh. Philip's lip is drawn taut between his teeth and Lukas tries so hard not to stare, tries not to think about how just an hour ago it was him biting Philip's full bottom lip and making him gasp.  
  
"Antiseptic," Lukas says, reaching for the thin tube he'd already retrieved from the kit. He squeezes it onto his fingers and pauses, hand hovering by Philip's arm. "It's gonna sting," he cautions, and Philip's fingers curl tighter into his wrist, but he nods when Lukas asks if he's okay.  
  
"Shit," Philip exhales when Lukas starts spreading the cooling cream around the area. "It's cold, too, you asshole," he jokes feebly.  
  
"That'll stop infection," Lukas says absently. He works in silence only broken by Philip's pained gasps and sharp inhales, and Lukas winces every time, hating that he was hurting Philip.  
  
"Get on with it," Philip gasps when Lukas pauses again, and so Lukas finishes quickly, wiping his hands on a tissue when he's done. Philip prods experimentally at his arm and Lukas bats his hand away.  
  
He fumbles for the bandage next, having to stretch to reach where it's fallen toward the bottom of his bed. He catches Philip's eyes on him when he straightens up and both of them blush and look away, embarrassed.  
  
They don't speak as Lukas fumbles unwrapping the bandage. "Can you lift your - yeah, that's it," Lukas murmurs, securing the bandage as tight as Philip can stand it before beginning to roll it up again. The methodical motions steady him somewhat, and he feels like he can breathe for the first time.  
  
"What do I tell Helen and Gabe?" Philip asks, quiet as Lukas wraps his arm.  
  
"We were never at the cabin," Lukas blurts out, and Philip flinches at his harsh tone. "You'll have to hide your arm." He carefully tapes the bandage closed, tracing the edge of it before pulling his hand back.  
  
They lapse into silence again. Lukas stares dully at the headboard while Philip gently stretches his arm, testing how much he can flex it without hurting.  
  
"You should go," Lukas says, and Philip glances at him. "I mean I'll - I'll take you home."  
  
Philip shrugs his jacket back on carefully, and Lukas almost moves to help him before biting his lip and stepping back. He replaces the first aid kit in the cupboard, taking pains to ensure it looks like it hasn't been disturbed.  
  
Lukas hears Philip whisper, "Shit," as they're putting their helmets on, and turns, immediately worried to see Philip clutching his arm.  
  
"You good?"  
  
"Fine," Philip mutters, and Lukas swallows nervously. He doesn't want Philip to be mad at him, but he also knows they have to be careful - have to be _normal_ so none of this, _none_ of it, ever gets out.  
  
He parks around the corner from Philip's house and helps him off the bike, concerned when Philip doesn't even protest, just leans into Lukas' arms.  
  
"We weren't there, yeah?" Lukas says, needing Philip to reassure him, because this - this could ruin his life. He can't stop thinking about the cabin, about the man he'd _killed_ , and hangs on a little longer, unwilling to break down in front of Philip. "You won't tell?"  
  
"Sure," Philip says. "Whatever you want."  
  
Lukas moves forward and grabs for Philip's hand, squeezing tightly to encourage him to speak. Philip just glares at him, eyes hard. "You won't tell," Lukas repeats urgently, fingers tightening in desperation. Philip frowns, prying his wrist from Lukas' grip.  
  
"You're hurting me," Philip says icily.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lukas says desperately, and leans to kiss Philip again, confused and firmly ignoring his thoughts, because it's still just a kiss - there's no way he'd _like_ Philip, because he's not gay. He's not.  
  
"I won't tell," Philip says quietly when they draw back, hand resting where the bandage is hidden under his jacket. "See you."  
  
"Yeah," Lukas replies absently. "See you."

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave a kudos n comment if you enjoyed! if you wanna read my other fic 'something of an end' about gabe being a good dad that'd be super sweet too!
> 
> i don't have much hope for a second season of eyewitness but i loved this season so much and i still hold out some hope
> 
> so come yell about eyewitness to me on tumblr at bottomkenobi.tumblr.com!


End file.
